i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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