I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
