found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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