hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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