i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
