My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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