She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
