I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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