there's paper in my vomit.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
