don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
