I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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