its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
