I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize