the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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