Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
