I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
