He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
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Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
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The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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