I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
PANTIES FOUND
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