I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
