How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the day after is always just damage control
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
