I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
