I just saw a hot homeless man
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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