rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
