there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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