Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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