i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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