Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
