man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
