We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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