The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
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