your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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