With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Your cock deserves a montage
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sorry about my life...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
