just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize