I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
