The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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