How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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