Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's blow job season.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Randomize
