It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
