Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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