My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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