just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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