Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
