wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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