you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
