if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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