omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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