i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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