i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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