the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
