I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
