He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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