I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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