I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
