let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
