I seem to have left my pride at pride
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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