is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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