carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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