If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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