Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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