He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
