i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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