their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
