so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
so much tequila, so little girl.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize