Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
